Why not send your loved one a special Xmas haggis? Baxter MacVitie’s special flavours this year include cranberry and seagull, lemon and roadkill, and scotch bonnet chili and paracetemol.
I hear the Four Horsemen are serving Glen Feckoff hot toddies on Hogmanay. if you can drink two, the third one is free (stomach pumps extra).
Why not treat yourself to a Blackhaven podcast for Xmas? they are all FREE – though gift-wrapping them could be tricky.